He is Good. All the Time

This post is one that I have taken days to write.  Over the span of two weeks.  It is a post that I wanted to walk away from, come back to and see if I still liked the message as it was being conveyed.

I recently experienced what turned out to be a minor legal incident.  Long, (long, long) story short, I made a mistake regarding the speed limit and a local school zone.  In my minivan.  On my way to teach children at a school.  I know, how do I get myself into these situations right?  Rather than get a ticket, I received a court date.

I put this on TBMB this week but felt it was also good here!

I try to be very honest here on the blog, but sometimes in blog/social media land, it's easy to paint a picture of "all is well"  and "nothing ever goes wrong."  It is my goal to have a little corner of this vast internet, and to make my corner a bright, happy, inspiring place in the midst of the darkness that the Internet (and world) can sometimes be.  It is not my goal to paint a fake picture of perfection.  Today's story is a prime example.

So, the legal incident:  At first I was ruined.  Useless.  Pouty.  Nervous.  Yikes.  I had no idea what to do or expect.  No control whatsoever.

I don't believe that God creates "pain", (and no, this does not compare to most of the pain out there) but I do think that he is really good at using situations like this one to make me (maybe you?) a better person.

You see, I had no other choice but to try out this "give it up to God" scenario that I've always heard about.  What does that mean anyway?  Give it to God.

Well, in this case, I think it meant:

"God, Kelly here.  I messed up.  I'm not asking you to swoop in and fix my problems like a genie or something, (although, it wouldn't upset me if you did).  But I do want you to know, that I feel like you've got me and I trust you.  Whatever happens here, please be with me and guide me.  Show me that you are in control here and help me to put it into your hands, whatever that means."

This didn't all come out right away.  It wasn't some bright light moment.  It first came the next day when I prayed with my in-laws about it.  After that, resources began to pop up.  People who knew what they were talking about in situations like this one.  People who could tell me what the day was going to look like and worst case scenarios.  Sermons about bad things happening to good people.  Personal bible time that reflected verses of God's promises.

Somewhere in that process my prayer became:

"God, Jesus promised rest in Him. (in Matthew) Please just keep me and my over-thinking ball of anxiety brain calm.  Help me find rest in you"   Whenever I got worked up about it after that, I remembered this moment and felt calmer.

The day finally came.   I was nervous, yes, but I wasn't going to lose it.  I was ready to accept that I made a mistake and that it would be okay despite potentially bad outcomes.  I think that that is what God did for me.  He prepared me, he calmed me, he had me, and I was keenly aware of that in the moment.

God didn't promise that I would have a perfect life.  In fact, it's the opposite.  He said, you WILL have hard times.  Those are not going to go away, that's life.  (that's not a direct quote).  But God does promise that He has me and loves me.

I don't think that the answer to prayer here was to just fix it.  I think that the answer to prayer here chalks down to worship.  Did I sing songs to God in the court room?  No.  That's not what I meant.  But I feel like my understanding of the fact that He is God and I am not was really deepened.  And that is what I believe worship means.  (which on a side note, also really allows me to understand Job a little better.)

As far as court goes:  The day went better than expected.  I am very impressed with the judge in the short time that I spent in the room.  He seemed very understanding and appeared to show discernment (not just with me).  Maybe that's why he's a judge.  I am responsible for a (pretty hefty, no pun intended, but not as bad as it could be) fine as well as driving school.

This situation wasn't good.  But He is.  All the time.

My Inspiration Today

445

These are words that I am clinging to today.  I am a huge fan of finding inspiration through scripture.  Even small ones like this.  I love to pick verses to apply to different parts of my life.  I even pray verses specifically for my children.

Having said that, I feel that a lot of confusion is sometimes created when reading bible verses all by themselves like this one.  I feel that that is where many misconceptions and different interpretations come into play.  I should say, that this contributes, there will still be different perspectives.  Kind of like the verse that talks about it being harder for rich people to get into heaven than a camel going through the eye of a needle.  Without context that verse has been torn apart and misconstrued and put into a lot of weird places.

Either way, allow me to share this, Matthew 5:6 is coming from the Sermon on the Mount.  Basically, Jesus has been baptized, met some of his disciples, was tempted by Satan during his fast, and began his ministry.  He actually spoke these words in a section of the Bible (in the Sermon on the Mount) called the Beatitudes.

I feel that Jesus came and rocked the world.  He really shook up a place and time where religion had taken over and worship was being misplaced by rules and statuses.  He says a lot of things that aren't necessarily easy for strict law followers to grasp.  Things that this girl sometimes often has to revisit and put in check.  Things like, instead of an eye for an eye, turn your cheek.  Etc.

Now that there is a very (very,very, very) short and detail lacking Kelly version of a context I want to get to my point.  This verse is inspiring me today.  In a world of busy and crazy, I start to question what I am hungry and thirsty for.  What are my priorities?  For crying out loud, how many priorities am I going to have before nothing is a priority anymore?  What are my motives?  Are they focused on righteousness?  Jesus?  Others?  or are they focused on Kelly?

Oh, and don't forget the comma.  The Bible is so good at adding "so's" and "therefores" and commas.  Sometimes these also lead to misconceptions.  People stop reading and don't read really good parts!  Just like the bus driver tells us about the Pigeon driving his bus, "Don't forget the comma!"

This time the comma is the best part, this time it's a promise folks!  "for they shall be satisfied".(446)  Sigh.  Swoon.

How I am taking this today is:

"Kelly.  Hunger and thirst for righteousness.  This is how you will be blessed.  I promise, you'll be satisfied."

That is what I am pondering over today.  I hope it inspires you.

By the way, Dictionary.com says this:

right·eous

  [rahy-chuhs]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

characterized by uprightness or morality: a righteous observance of the law.

2.

morally right or justifiable: righteous indignation.

3.

acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous: a righteous and godly person.

4.

Slang. absolutely genuine or wonderful: some righteous playing by a jazz great.

THE Message

Happy Easter to you!

My personal Facebook status reads this today:

"His story changed History."

His story is about sacrifice.

His story is about rescue.

His story does matter.

His story can will change your story.

All of these poignant thoughts came straight from our message at Bridgepoint Church today.  If you want to hear it (in a few days when the video is up) then go here.  It's filled with a lot of factual information about Jesus.

At least we're all looking!

If you would like to see what our previous Easters have looked like you can go here or here

Promise

In the Circle Maker I learned a new strategy that has really helped me.  (130)  I don't "read" the Bible.  I pray through it.

This has seriously changed my outlook on the Bible.  So here's what I do, I read until something (or few somethings) really jumps out of the page at me.  I circle or underline it and focus on what it is trying to say.  I feel like those points that are jumping out at me are what I need to hear that day, so I pray them.

With this new strategy, I don't just read, put it away and go on with my day.  I focus in on that "prayer" and it has really helped me in my life.  It's become useful and applicable.

For example,

"Keep it up and don't let anyone intimidate or silence you.  I'm with you and no one is going to be able to hurt you."  (Acts 18:8 MSG, paraphrased:  131)

Ever since reading this promise I have been reminding myself of it and have been more courageous.  I have brought up things that were bugging me (and had them resolved like grown ups do), I have stepped out of my comfort zone when it comes to including people in my thoughts.  I have even blogged! (132)

 He is far bigger than my minor social anxieties that I am carrying around and that's a promise! (133)

A picture of a braver me!  Haha.  This isn't really related, I just wanted a picture!

HUGE News 73

I have a slight confession...  I wrote this post on Sunday.  I knew already that it had sold and that it was scheduled to close this week (potentially, you know how these things go).  The house pictured below has SO many reasons for my heart to sing attached to it. 

 Another confession...  My heart has not always sung about this house.  Well, perhaps it was singing, but it was one of those annoying, whiny songs that have way too many long, drawn out notes.  You see, it has been a huge financial burden on our little family for a really long time now, but as you'll see below, it has come full circle.  

Not a photographer.  

This may be longer than my average post, but this is a truly monumental turning point for us.

74.  This was our first home as a young married couple.  When we came home from our Honeymoon, this is where we came.  We're one of those old school couples that didn't live together before getting married so we really started out together right here.

75.  We got to experience that new married couple old house fun, like a broken AC (the first time we turned it on.  After the inspection), a flooded garage (resulting in a new washer and dryer, and a busted dishwasher the first time we used it.  Those seemed stressful, but deep down, I loved every second of it.

76.  We put a lot of love and personal touch into this house and with that came a huge sense of satisfaction and personalization.  The inside was pretty much done (besides issues noted above) when we bought it, but the outside was...  Ugh.  We laid a concrete driveway and patio in the back, we made the little garden, we laid all of the sod (by hand.  the week of our wedding), put in a fence, and put up the pretty front door.

77.  We were privileged to be "landlords" of this house to our besties.  It was so fun to watch another brand newly married couple get off to a great start of their marriage in this little home.  I hope that they will always think of their times under that roof as happy ones and I hope that they can think of this house as a blessing to them also.

78.  This house brought me to a whole new level when it came to praying.  What happened with the sale of this house was completely out of my control.  The Circle Maker  book that I am completely obsessed with talks about praying through...  AKA keep on praying and pray hard.  I had worked like it depended on me and the only thing that I could do after that was to pray like it depended on God.  He came through.  Big time.  Honestly, this is the first time that this control freak was able to step back and let it go.

79.  I think that there might be some kind of theory about needing information and just then the right kind of teacher shows up (I'm really bad at phrases).  I wanted to share this quote that I came across just this week. Coincidence?  Maybe, but how many coincidences does one have to experience before they start thinking that it is coming from elsewhere?

"We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary - we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!"- (Paul, Romans 5:2-5)

Right now, my containers feel pretty over-flowy!  Patience is so hard sometimes, but in the end, it always makes sense!  Even what I considered troubles can make sense now.  Do I like them, no way, but I feel like I "get" them now.

Now I hope that this house can bless it's new homeowner.  It's amazing what it has done for us. 

Farewell to 4348.

The Weekend

SIDENOTE:  I want to invite you to share your thoughts and reasons for your heart to sing.  Please feel welcome to add comments at the end of any and all posts.  I don't think that singing hearts should have to sing solo, and I don't expect everyone to take on this challenge via blog, so feel free to share! 

Friday (11) is my personal favorite day of the week.  There's just something so refreshing about having the next few days off to be with family and friends.

We often have dinner with our favorites on Friday nights (12).  Then we watch Shark Tank together.  It's simple but so fun.

Note to self:  Take more current picture of our friends with our children (sheesh!)

I want to end this week with one of my favorite quotes (13):

                                                 "Your joy will be a river overflowing it's banks."    

By the way, if I were to name the color of this font, I think I'd choose River.  (Tangent anyone?)

Here's the reason I love this quote so much:

I don't just consider it to be a quote, but a promise.  It's from this really great book (you may have heard of it) the Bible.  It's in the book of John.  I am currently reading the "Message" version, which is in modern day language and easy to understand. (14)

Jesus is actually talking here.  I know what my beliefs are about Jesus (I'll be happy to tell you all about them).  I don't know what your beliefs are, but either way Jesus was a really quotable man.  This is not a downplay on his holiness but a character trait that I feel describes him when he was walking around on Earth.  He had an amazing outlook on life, leadership, love, and many other things.    

Anyway, I started really counting on this promise.  I pray it all the time and since I've read it and started praying it, I notice things that bring me joy every day, and trust me, they're everywhere.  Hence, this blog.  So as I leave until Monday, I hope that you can find joy in your day, weekend, week, month, year, and so on.

If you're having a hard time, you can remember this promise.  If you're finding it easy, tell me all about it!