My Gifts

When I was having my babies people were always referring to them as God's gifts to me.  Of course I smiled at them.  I believed them.  Those words helped me to appreciate my guys as gifts to me.

Then we dedicated them at our church.  They were both dedicated on Mother's day one year apart from each other.  C was about 10 months and T was 2 weeks.  At their dedications the gift reference came up again.  God gave us these gifts and we were dedicating them to our home and our church as a gift.  We made the promise to each of them to raise them in a home where they could get to know Jesus and that we would do everything that we could to be wonderful parents to them.  Each time it was a moment.  Each time it was special.

But it still hadn't totally sunk in.  I meant what I said, but it still needed to simmer and resonate in me.  Then, within a very short amount of time from each other, very recently, I had two references point me closer to the direction of "getting it".  The first one was on a truly lovely blog that I have been reading for awhile now.  She is a mommy of 6, yes 6 sweet children and I just love her whole approach to life.  (The link is to the specific post is HERE, After you read that, I recommend the rest of the blog.  Really, check it out)

First she referenced a devotional that she had been following which included these words:

"Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care.  they are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands."

It said a lot more than that, but if I had a highlighter, that would have been the section that I marked on my screen.  As good as those words were, it was the blogger herself whose words really sunk in.

"we have to keep ourselves in check.  and choose (daily) to trust him with these little lives we are blessed with"

Wow.  That was it.  My control freak tendencies were put on high alert that day, but those words released such a stress away from me that I hadn't realized I was even carrying.  Yes, these are my children, and yes, I will always do everything in my power to love them, protect them and nurture them.  But that's not the end of the road for them because even my very best pales in comparison to His love.

I like how the devo describes my hands as "clinging" because to me that paints such a picture of strain.   Maybe it's to represent my hard work (that I will still put in) or maybe it's to compare my strain to to the release that He is offering.

Then, super close after that, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook:

If there were ever an icing on a cake, then this was it for me.  This was such a reminder of the Mother's Day promises that their dad and I made to them.  We can't force their beliefs.  We can't choose that for them, and quite frankly, I don't want to force faith that is is not genuine, but we can and should choose that path for ourselves daily so that they can see it in us.  

I truly believe that God has much cooler things in store for them than I could probably imagine.  That gives me such an awesome feeling of excited anticipation and now I finally am starting to grasp what a gift God gave me when he made me their Mommy.  

(Thank you Emily)