He is Good. All the Time

This post is one that I have taken days to write.  Over the span of two weeks.  It is a post that I wanted to walk away from, come back to and see if I still liked the message as it was being conveyed.

I recently experienced what turned out to be a minor legal incident.  Long, (long, long) story short, I made a mistake regarding the speed limit and a local school zone.  In my minivan.  On my way to teach children at a school.  I know, how do I get myself into these situations right?  Rather than get a ticket, I received a court date.

I put this on TBMB this week but felt it was also good here!

I try to be very honest here on the blog, but sometimes in blog/social media land, it's easy to paint a picture of "all is well"  and "nothing ever goes wrong."  It is my goal to have a little corner of this vast internet, and to make my corner a bright, happy, inspiring place in the midst of the darkness that the Internet (and world) can sometimes be.  It is not my goal to paint a fake picture of perfection.  Today's story is a prime example.

So, the legal incident:  At first I was ruined.  Useless.  Pouty.  Nervous.  Yikes.  I had no idea what to do or expect.  No control whatsoever.

I don't believe that God creates "pain", (and no, this does not compare to most of the pain out there) but I do think that he is really good at using situations like this one to make me (maybe you?) a better person.

You see, I had no other choice but to try out this "give it up to God" scenario that I've always heard about.  What does that mean anyway?  Give it to God.

Well, in this case, I think it meant:

"God, Kelly here.  I messed up.  I'm not asking you to swoop in and fix my problems like a genie or something, (although, it wouldn't upset me if you did).  But I do want you to know, that I feel like you've got me and I trust you.  Whatever happens here, please be with me and guide me.  Show me that you are in control here and help me to put it into your hands, whatever that means."

This didn't all come out right away.  It wasn't some bright light moment.  It first came the next day when I prayed with my in-laws about it.  After that, resources began to pop up.  People who knew what they were talking about in situations like this one.  People who could tell me what the day was going to look like and worst case scenarios.  Sermons about bad things happening to good people.  Personal bible time that reflected verses of God's promises.

Somewhere in that process my prayer became:

"God, Jesus promised rest in Him. (in Matthew) Please just keep me and my over-thinking ball of anxiety brain calm.  Help me find rest in you"   Whenever I got worked up about it after that, I remembered this moment and felt calmer.

The day finally came.   I was nervous, yes, but I wasn't going to lose it.  I was ready to accept that I made a mistake and that it would be okay despite potentially bad outcomes.  I think that that is what God did for me.  He prepared me, he calmed me, he had me, and I was keenly aware of that in the moment.

God didn't promise that I would have a perfect life.  In fact, it's the opposite.  He said, you WILL have hard times.  Those are not going to go away, that's life.  (that's not a direct quote).  But God does promise that He has me and loves me.

I don't think that the answer to prayer here was to just fix it.  I think that the answer to prayer here chalks down to worship.  Did I sing songs to God in the court room?  No.  That's not what I meant.  But I feel like my understanding of the fact that He is God and I am not was really deepened.  And that is what I believe worship means.  (which on a side note, also really allows me to understand Job a little better.)

As far as court goes:  The day went better than expected.  I am very impressed with the judge in the short time that I spent in the room.  He seemed very understanding and appeared to show discernment (not just with me).  Maybe that's why he's a judge.  I am responsible for a (pretty hefty, no pun intended, but not as bad as it could be) fine as well as driving school.

This situation wasn't good.  But He is.  All the time.

Message

Do you ever go to church and leave there thinking that there is no way you can take the information you got that day and NOT do something with it? (315)

That thought process was one of the reasons that I started this blog in the first place.  I was fueling up every Sunday at church and needed a way to get out into the world and actually apply or show, or even process through action, what I was/am still learning.  (More info on that here.)

This Sunday was one of those for me.  This Sunday our church was discussing the disciplines of service and stewardship, or as it was defined when you  put those together: generosity.  

www.bridgepointonline.org

We were challenged with the question of how we approach those disciplines.  I was reminded that I GET to serve, I GET to give, I GET to go to church on Sundays.  Not I have to.  What good is it to serve and love others with an attitude of obligation?  It accomplishes things, but is it really serving it's real purpose?  Is it really showing why I love?  Does my service and stewardship reflect a partnering with God?  Because if it did, there's no way I wouldn't be jumping up and down with the opportunity to do it.  (316)

I needed this reminder.  I needed to ask myself:  "Am I living a generous life?"

Then (and this is one of my favorite parts) we got to go over a story that I've heard my entire life, but with a fresh perspective.  (Mark 6:  Feeding the 5,000).  When the disciples were saying that the people needed to eat, Jesus told them to go feed them.  When they didn't have any food, Jesus said, GO and see the food.  Go first, then see. (This was very, very paraphrased, that's why I put the Mark 6 there.)  

God is so generous and so in control.  That information and reminder gets me pumped to GO and see, and to live generously.  Just thought I'd share :) (317)

Today

Here is what is making my heart sing today:

331:  The first teacher day back was a success and we all survived.  Heck, we thrived.

332:  The realization that the quality time I get at the end of the day with my guys is more than I pictured it to be.  Sigh of relief.

333:  Home made morning smoothies that get my day off to a good start.  (Expect a post on this later.)

334:  I work at a place where I get to do this, wearing that:

Okay, so maybe that's not everyday, but that one day was pretty darn exciting!

335:  The church that we are members of totally rocks it out.  I am still on cloud nine from an AWESOME Night of Worship experience that was on Sunday evening.  I mean, seriously, the talent in the group of musicians at our church is unreal.

336:  I am on a bit of a running routine again.  It's short, and it's slow, but it's there!

Oh, and that reminds me...  I need to go deposit some more generously donated money (337) into my Autism Speaks donation page!  You too can find that here:

http://events.autismspeaks.org/disneysprincesshalf/heftykel

This Week

Wow, this week was a doozie!

I had the total honor to help put together and work at this year's VBS at our church.  We (like a lot of other churches) put on this theme:

                                             

It wasn't only awesome for me to work at it, but I got closer to some friends and I feel mostly blessed for my guy.  He's technically not Pre-K yet (he's 2, soon to be 3) but since I was volunteering he got to come.  He was really wary at first, but by the end of the first day he was so excited about his friends, his crew leader, his bracelet that he got, the music, everything.  On the second day I was watching him from a distance having a blast.  Oh boy did my heart sing!  It is really amazing to watch him learn and I am so grateful for the "village" that I have helping me! (314)

Then on Tuesday I went to the dentist to have 3 wisdom teeth pulled.  I posted this on my Facebook page:

The next time you see me I will be without 3 wisdom teeth. Wish me luck! PS I've always kind of wondered/hoped that I'd be the one to wake up from wisdom tooth surgery singing rap songs about unicorns, but I'll be awake so I guess I'll have to continue to wonder.

The rapping about unicorns was in reference to this link here

Gets me every time!  Haha!

Yes, I was awake.  The teeth were already in, so it was more of an extraction than a surgery.  Today, I feel better.  Not so loopy, down to only Ibuprofen.  Looking chipmunk-y.

Hopefully soon, I'll be back to my good old self again!  But for now, I'm thankful to have that over with.

THE Message

Happy Easter to you!

My personal Facebook status reads this today:

"His story changed History."

His story is about sacrifice.

His story is about rescue.

His story does matter.

His story can will change your story.

All of these poignant thoughts came straight from our message at Bridgepoint Church today.  If you want to hear it (in a few days when the video is up) then go here.  It's filled with a lot of factual information about Jesus.

At least we're all looking!

If you would like to see what our previous Easters have looked like you can go here or here

The Message (1/20)

I don't even know where to start today.  Seriously.  

This week has left me feeling motivated, but also, challenged.  

I think I'll start here:

It's not about me.  

The message was really involved and had a lot of really great things to learn in it, but the phrase that just kept popping up was the one above.  It's not about my ego, or me.  Apparently that is what I needed to hear today.  Does anyone else need that reminder?  I think I might daily.

You see, I love to share my story with you on this blog, but I don't want the message that I am writing about to be about me.  I want for you to see Jesus working.  

I want to follow His example in my blog, in my home, in my job, with my babies, while I'm driving, everywhere.  That is my challenge this week.  

Goodbye Control Freak Kelly, hello surrendered Kelly.

As usual, this is just a small piece of what I learned this week.  There was A LOT more to this message.  Heck, this wasn't even the main theme of today, just what I took home.  I want to encourage you to check the message out HERE

A Message

Not to be confused with THE message that is usually featured on a Sunday.

Unfortunately these 2 guys are Sick with a capital S.  The younger, gooey-er one has bronchiolitis, the older more verbal one has been running fevers since Friday night.  He has a REAL talent for getting sick on the weekend.

They are pretty pitiful.  With a lot of love, snuggles, water, and medicine we are nursing them back to health.
 
In finding the joy, this weekend at home has been relaxing and good for our little family.  Minus the diseases, we've had a great time with each other.

Thursday (pre-sickness) I got to go out with some favorites to Flemings (Y-U-M, 190) followed by a second row viewing of Wicked (third time and it's still amazing!  191).  Tate stood himself up (holding onto a chair)192.  I got in a 9 mile run in less than an hour and a half 193.  We all got to take a nap at some point 194.  Tonight we get to watch Downton Abbey again 195. It wasn't all sickness.

This means no church for us today, however, I will be viewing in via the online messages just like you this week!  If you want to join me, you can!  Just go here

Message

Source

As you may or may not know, we've been working our way through the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" song.

Today we focused on the last words of the chorus:  "You get what you need".

It's okay to want things, but what is our greatest NEED?  We were challenged to confess what our greatest need was to the one who provided a way for our greatest need to be met.

In fact, we wrote this quote down:  "Through the gift of Jesus, God has provided a way for our greatest need to be met."  

I believe what we also discussed, the fact that God will come through.  Always.(138)  I think of that as a promise and I will use that to help me sort through my day, week, life and focus on what my needs are and who has already met them.  

As usual, if you'd like to hear it spoken better you can go here for the message.  

Message

Our church is a huge place of inspiration for me.  I could go on about all of the things I like about it.  For now, let me just say this:  (please hear me out here)

Now more than ever before, I really feel that by going to church I am refreshing myself and refocusing so that I can truly take what I learn during that time and apply it to the rest of my week.  I feel like that (among many other things) is really what church is for (70). 

I don't feel like it's a special building to go to in order to show off my "holiness" to all other church go-ers, just to take the information that I've gotten from the experience, tuck it into my bible and leave it there for next week.  I'm also not pointing that finger toward anyone but me.

I don't know if that is a personal maturation thing or what.  I also know that I am nowhere close to perfect, but I am learning.  I am in process.(71)

"In process" is where I am going with this.  Today's message was all about enjoying the process.  I really want you to hear/see it for yourself so I am going to attach the link to our audio/video messages.  

If you are not in a place where you can or want to listen/watch, that's okay.  You don't have to.  Some points of the message this week that really resonated with me were...

1.  Enjoy the process

2.  Happiness is temporary, Joy is eternal.

3.  Happiness is always followed by because (I am happy because...)  Joy is in spite of.  (this was a big one for me)

4.  God is not concerned so much with what we do, but rather what is going on on the inside.

I hope that you can find encouragement here.  I would also love to hear about your week!  What is making your heart sing today?  Please, let me know in the comments section.

HERE is the link to the messages.  If this week's message isn't up yet, be patient, it will be.  :)

Focusing on the ONES

Our church just finished a series on a book called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson.  One theme of the book talks a lot about goal setting.  The series tagline was "God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God." 

It also talks about setting goals.  I am so, so guilty of setting goals and then expecting to be at the grand end result before doing anything to get there.  I cross the finish line before I even take my first step.  Then I get overwhelmed and don't ever get started. 

Our pastor pointed out to us that we should start focusing on the 1's instead of the 0's when trying to reach our goals.  This is another way of saying to take it one step at a time.  Enjoy every one reason for what it is and let God take control of all of the 0's. 

My goal is to discover and share 10,000 reasons that my heart sings.  10,000 reasons to feel blessed.  10,000 times of focusing on the positive and being happy. 

10,000 is a large number, but like I said before, I am going to take it 1 step at a time and ignore the 0's.  Eventually it will all add up and I can't wait to see the path that this challenge leads to.  Hopefully you'll join me!